ROMANCE 101
HOWYOUR RELATIONSHIP CAN SURVIVE YOUR KIDS (AND OTHER PASSION-KILLERS)
Stuck in a relationship rut? Do you remember the great dates, great laughs, and hot sex you used to have before the kids arrived? But now you’d rather watch a series than have sex. This book is a call to action! It will help you find ways to make your relationship rock again.
Overview
Throw away the rule book—Romance 101 is going to help couples find a way to put the va-va-voom back into their relationship, 21st-century style. This book is every couple’s unconventional yet practical and fun guide on how to make their relationship work. Written by Sarah Bullen, it is set to become the new relationship bible because making a family work is about becoming more in touch with who you are and not about following an outdated formula for relationships.
"Covering topics such as ‘ten new rules for love’, ‘terrible sex’, ‘handling affairs’, ‘the Dalai Lama divorce code’, and ‘hormones and hate crimes’, this is one book every couple should have on their bedside tables." – Cosmopolitan
ROMANCE 101
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Reignite the Spark: Rediscover the excitement and passion that first brought you together.
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Unconventional Wisdom: Embrace a fresh, modern approach to love and relationships.
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Practical Tips: Implement actionable strategies for improving your relationship, from communication to intimacy.
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Fun and Engaging: Enjoy a lively, humorous take on maintaining a healthy relationship amidst parenting and busy lives.
You Will Find:
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Ten New Rules for Love: Break away from old-fashioned norms and discover new ways to keep your love alive.
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Handling Affairs: Navigate the complexities of infidelity with grace and understanding.
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The Dalai Lama Divorce Code: Apply profound wisdom to your relationship challenges.
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Hormones and Hate Crimes: Understand how biological factors can affect your relationship and manage them effectively.
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Terrible Sex: Address common sexual issues and reignite the passion.
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Family Fun: Create a dynamic, fun, and loving family environment without sacrificing your relationship.
Author, Literary Agent, Speaker & Writing Mentor
Sarah Bullen is a multi-published author and writing coach, leading international writing retreats and adventures in Europe and Africa. Sarah had a life-altering near-death experience herself where she was in a coma for three weeks. Her story has become a book Love & Above: A journey into shamanism, coma and joy. She is a former financial and magazine journalist writing for titles such as Marie Claire, The Guardian, Cosmopolitan and Psychologies UK. Her latest book The Other Side: Journeys into Mysticism, Magic and Near Death gathers riveting and radical stories of people from Africa, who have crossed to the ‘other side’ or those who can contact it.
Her range of books include:
FROM STYLISH, SUCCESSFUL GAL AND
SEX-BOMB WIFE TO WOBBLY NEW MOM
IN 9 SHORT MONTHS
Your Pregnancy magazine talks to Sarah about the challenges new moms face
Q. Are the pressures on women today too high?
A. The days of power suits are over, but that does not mean women push themselves any less hard to perform at work, run a house, handle a small baby and skip on some kitten heels to serve up a healthy meal before passing out a seven for a few hours kip before the 11pm feed. So yes, pressures are not just high, they are Herculean.
Q. How does a new mom find enough time for themselves?
A. One of the most dramatic shifts you have to go through in becoming a mom is a surrender of your old ideas of what your life consisted of. It is a process of mourning the old, and accepting the new. And part of the new, certainly during the first year, is that there is no time for you. It’s not a myth or something to scare women off motherhood, but it’s true. But parenting is fluid and as your baby grows and becomes more independent you will again be able to reclaim your life. But forget it for now. You actually have to throw yourself into nappies, baby talk and nights at home with such a passion. If you don’t you may remember that you actually used to have a life.
Q. What dictates your fashion sense these days?
A. Control top tights and hipsters. Not that anyone over sixteen actually looks good in hipsters, its just that I battle to button up anything that actually has a waist band. I lost my waist somewhere and I am still looking for it. I am also a big fan of high heels; nothing can create a slimmer line that extra two inches on your legs.
Q. Do you think that there’s enough of a focus on post-natal health in South Africa?
A. There is little or no focus on post-natal health after you are discharged from the hospital with a sometimes day-old baby in your inept hands. There are endless books and classes about how to huff and puff during labour, whether to choose lavender or patchouli oil candles and how to massage your perineum. But the second your baby is out you are cast adrift with no lifeboat save a six-week checkup with your obstetrician. I found the experience incredibly scary. I felt alone, out of control and had no idea what was right or wrong. It was only when I started doing interviews to research some of the medical sections of the book that I got my first real information about what had gone on in my body and just how incredible it really was. But also what an incredibly fragile time it is and how much can go wrong. I spoke to many women for whom things went wrong in those crazy few weeks after birth, and others who noticed only month later that things were… well, different. There is a common perception that obstetricians are unavailable and many women battle alone with medical problems, depression and tortuous breastfeeding without knowing where to turn. There are support groups for specific things, but few first-line contact between midwife and mother as you get in other countries where experienced advice is just a phone call away.
Q. So many women want to know about how to lose the weight.
A. So right. I mean there is Catherine Zeta-Jones shedding all of 30kgs in a few months, Kate Hudson shedding her weight faster than a melting ice block and Liv Tyler saying she wants to pose nude three months after her birth. And you are sitting with a stomach of loose blubber and thighs that touch from the knee. Now that is actually normal. There isn’t an honest soul among us who can’t confess to thinking we would slip back into their jeans within days. Well I can count on one hand the number of women who can even fit into an outsize pair of jeans within six months.
Q. Is there a funny side to being a new mom?
A. If there is, it is going to take you 12 months to see it. But when you are desperate at 3am and find yourself smearing Marmite on your nipples to get your child to feed? Nope, you are not laughing then. It is only months later and after a good few tequilas that your friends will ever tell you what a pathetic sod you actually were. And that’s when you start laughing. Either that or you never speak to them again.
Q. Why and how did your SABC3 documentary The Baby Business come about?
A. That was really an extension of my own discoveries into the medical world of childbirth. When I fell pregnant I started off going down the route most women follow, visiting an obstetrician as my first port of call. The experience was so incredibly alienating, with such a focus on what could go wrong, that I started to question how we got to this point where childbirth has become a medical event rather than a natural rite of passage. So I started looking at how we got here, and started my own journey to bring my daughter into the world in a way that suited me, and not a medical practitioner trained in emergencies. What followed was a documentary into the world of medical management of birth that took eight months to complete and followed three extraordinary women through their birth processes. Along the way I threw out all my plans to have my baby delivered in the most modern medical facility I could find and ended up having both my kids Ruby in three short hours in a pool in our lounge.
Q. How did you gather your testimonials and anecdotes? Were there common threads or is every woman’s experience really different?
A. I became a frequent visitor at an endless round of mommy groups. Now I am not a girlie group person and the thought of bouncing up and down on a ball with ten other tubby moms was daunting to me. But I have discovered what incredible fun it can be to sing Humpty Dumpty in unison with all hand motions at 10am on a Monday morning. I then spoke to all those moms. I did literally hundreds of interviews with women. We would sit and discuss piles and stretch marks like we were comparing pecan pie recipes.
Q. How important is a new mom’s support structure? Who should she turn to?
A. This came up as one of the most critical issues with so many young moms. Most expressed an incredible feeling of isolation and loneliness, having taken off from a busy and challenging job, they are now sitting at home alone with an incredibly demanding baby and little or no support. It is a lonely time with little or no rewards. Your support structure is whatever you make it – your husband, mother, nanny, in-laws or friends. But at some point during the first year you realise that you need to establish one, and fast. It is often a feeling of lack of support that is a precipitating factor in Postnatal Depression and a key factor in treating it.